First thoughts on Austen's Sense and Sensibility

First book of the summer: Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen.

So far, I've loved getting acquainted with the characters: their virtues, their vices, their idiosyncrasies, and their motivations. I just finished Chapter 5 and the verdict so far is that Marianne is my favorite character.  The first real introduction we get of her is when she complains to her mother about her older sister's courtier, Edward. She asserts that, although Edward has virtue and amiability, he lacks the passion and the "taste" essential for any young man she would ever consider. She claims that she could "not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with [her] own." Okay, so maybe Marianne is a little too picky and hopefully her seventeen year old self will mature a little bit, but I cannot help but love her passion and her spirit. She will not settle for a blahsay reading of passionate poetry or a simply 'sensible' take on life. I think what draws me to Marianne so much is that she's so different from me. I definitely resemble the eldest daughter, Elinor: always looking for the most sensible, frugal, and prudent answer. But is Elinor (am I) missing the lively passion of Marianne?

God has given us passions (emotions) that reflect him and are to be geared towards him. And he has given us creative capacity to be able to express those emotions. Through music, dance, literature, and poetry.


So..I love that Marianne thinks in such poetic language! Below is the passage that made me love her and inspired this blog:

Many were the tears shed by them in their last ... adieus to a place so much beloved. "Dear, dear Norland!" said Marianne, as she wandered alone before the house, on the last evening of their being there; "when shall I cease to regret you? -- when learn to feel a home elsewhere? -- Oh happy house! could you know what I suffer in now viewing you from this spot, from whence perhaps I may view you no more! -- And you, ye well-known trees! -- but you will continue the same. -- No leaf will decay because we are removed, nor any branch become motionless although we can observe you no longer! -- No; you will continue the same; unconscious of the pleasure or the regret you occasion, and insensible of any change in those who walk under your shade! -- But who will remain to enjoy you?" (5.8)

I know absolutely nothing about this book going in, so forgive me if my first impression of Marianne is completly foolish, but--for now at least--I love her passion and her less-than-sensible take on life.

Hello Summer!

First night back at home. All moved out of beloved Li apartments (oh, how I will miss it there!) Not completely unpacked, but at least everything's out of the cars!

My brain is totally fried from a crazy week, but I just thought I'd let the world know that I plan on blogging more now that it's summer. Some of my other plans for the summer?

Helping Blake find a new job! (he has a skills test for a Biola job on Wed, so you can be praying for that!)
Interning with San Clemente Pregnancy Resource Center
Reading Jane Austen
Learning some basic "wife"/independence skills
Planning the wedding (which will be next June!)


That's all for now... :-)

Some Thoughts on Revision

On Friday, I finished revising my big term paper for Torrery. On this weekend's to-do list: revise 10 of the 12 poems I turned in for my poetry class this semester.

"I like to think of revision as a form of self-forgiveness: you can allow yourself mistakes and shortcomings in your [first draft] because you know you're coming back later to improve it. Reivision is he way you cope with bad luck [or bad habits] that made your writing less than excellent this morning. Revision is the hope you hold out for yourself to make something beautiful tomorrow though you didn't quite manage it today."

David Huddle, "Let's Say you Wrote Badly this Morning"

But revision is difficult. While I appreciate the opportunity to fix my mistakes, there's those moments when it's bad. and I know it's bad. and I don't know how to fix it.

Then there's other moments when I really like the original work I did, but the assignment is to make "significant revisions" and, if I don't, my grade goes down. That, I have found, is where humility and Eliot's perspective below becomes essential:

What we call the beginning is often the end

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

The end is where we start from. And every phrase

And sentence that is right (where every word is at home,

Taking its place to support the others...

The complete consort dancing together)

Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning...

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

T.S. Eliot

(excerpted from "Little Gidding")

Four poems revised and six to go. God, give me motivation and creativity to help every word find their home--"taking its place to support the others...the complete consort dancing together." It really is beautiful.

Tired. Long day, but not really. Just tired and unmotivated but stressed at the same time. You ever have those days? Procrastinating on a Torrey blog post, gazed at my roommates bookshelf and found Surrender to Love by David Benner. We read it for a floor Bible study last year. Flipped to a page and found underlining and the word "good!" in the margin. Thought I'd share:

"Guilt only complicates surrender, leading to more thrashing about.Whenever I discover that I have slipped out of surrender an back into my treading-water mode, I need to simply relax and allow the river of love to again support me. Time wasted on slapping my wrist and wringing my hands is time when I could be floating."

Stop trying to swim. Stop trying to constantly earn love, acheive tasks, gain praise. Relax. Rest. Trust in the current of His love. Float.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30

Broken Creation

Out of brokenness,

Cracked concrete now a canvas—

A new bud blooms.

But even spring bring harsh rains—

New buds are the first to break.

For when I feel inadequate and enslaved to sinful thoughts and emotions:

"Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life nd is corrupt through deceitful desires and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." Eph 4:22-24

Eyjafjallajokull's Sigh

When the earth sighs it cannot help but breathe out the remnants of the poweful fire inside.

Caught

under the canopy of ash.

we

small men

sigh and

our breath

flutters only papers.

Stranded.

Reprimanded:

Grounded. For now, at least, as we remember. death. and the weakness of our breath.